Tuesday 20 October 2015

A Heist Upon Easter?!? by Lataisha Elohor Fashola



A heist upon Easter?!?


Voice: A heist upon Easter? It wouldn’t be understated if it was said that we as humans had a soft spot for the taste of chocolate and all its sugary companions. And its various flavours and varieties simply add to its appeal, but what if that pleasurable treat was looked down upon? What if it was seen as a criminal act to be associated with? In the year of the revived 50’s (the year 2050 to be exact), this was the case, Chocolate, Sweets and other sugary delights are outlawed and the celebration of Easter is banned and to keep this act in effect the society has established a department to deal with these chocolatey crimes called the Bunny Boilers. Mostly filled with new generation late teens, they work to keep the older generations and their sugary lusts at bay.

Ouran: You’ve got to be kidding right? It been almost four years since I’ve been working on this side of the backstreet! Alone! And not once have I ever lost a bunny! So tell me why I’ve got to take on a rookie? I get that I’m hitting my? Years but I’m still more than able to do my job without this greenhorn being bagged along. Come chief, I ain’t never complained before so, help me out here-

Jacquie: - Greenhorn?! Look bud I admit I’m a rookie, that I ain’t never played the field but you ain’t no silver plate, I’ve seen your work and it ain’t much to hoot about! No disrespect chief but do I really have to work with this rusted butter knife?

Ouran: You know, you’re actually working on my last strings, you think because you’re fresh off the press, you’re hot ice! But let me tell you something! This ain’t no day-care, those books smarts you think you’ve got, don’t apply here!

Jacquie: Oh really? Well these book smarts are a lot more effective than your bots for brains!

Sofia: ENOUGH! You think I’ve got the time to sit and listen to yous two barking off? I couldn’t give two cents what yous two think! Orders are orders, so deal with it! And I am pretty sure there’s work to be done, so go do it! Speaking of work, this just came in...

Jacquie: Guard duty?! Really? 4 days with this Sinatra you got to be kidding me?

Sofia: I thought I told you to pack it in! Anyways I’ve got Danny waiting for yous two at the spot, a rental is outside and I booked the lovely honeymoon suite for yous across the road. Now get going, seeing your faces is starting to work on MY last strings.

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Ouran: Two days have passed and still nothing, well apart from the few times the chief popped round.

Jacquie: Well there was that funky smell coming for the Thomson’s shop and the weird elderly lady creeping out of Betty’s. Can’t trust the elderly these days, always try to bring back the “old days”. The past wasn’t even that great, I heard they had all types of problems, alcohol, drugs, murders, partying till they can’t even remember their names and now we got to deal with the aftermath of it all. Those things they called holidays, I think is possibly the root of it.

Ouran: Tell me something I ain’t already heard, I spent the last four years trying to stomp out those chocolate troublemakers. Hey! How about me and you go sweep the streets tomorrow, maybe we might find some more clues about those chocolate rumours, someone got to know if something big is going down.

Jacquie: I knew you had bots in that brain of yours! Why would we do that? Ain’t like they don’t know we are here. Besides the chief’s orders were to watch the place, not digging up some hear say.

Ouran: Hear say?! This ain’t no ladies salon with the girls grouped up and chatting! What good is sitting here and watching if it’s all happening out there? And sure they might know we are here but I ain’t done this job for four years without learning a few tricks

Jacquie: well you can go perform your little trick like a circus monkey all by yourself! I ain’t moving. It would be a lovely change of pace from seeing your ugly mug every minute.

Ouran: Sweet to see the younger generation are growing up respectable, another one would have though yous were fed on chocolate.

Jacquie: What did you just say?

Ouran: What did I say?

Whoa! What was that? Sound like it coming from Thomson’s shop!

Jacquie: There’s a huge crowd outside Betty’s too! Something spilling out and the people are licking it up like its holy water!   

Ouran: Hey! What you do you think you’re doing?!? Step away from the brown stuff and put your hands where I can see them!  Yo Jac! We are going to need to call in back up, there are too many! Jac? Jacquie? Where are you?

Sofia: Attention! Under section nine of the Spring Easter Act, I, Sofia Wallflower, chief of the Bunny Boilers, hereby put all of you under arrest, those who resist will be forced to submit! Now step away from the liquid chocolate and put your hands behind your head and move slowly towards the wall!

Ouran: Chief! You don’t know how good it is to have you here! It was getting a little over my head and that rookie has done a magic act on me. Anyways! I’m good now, dealing with all this, I mean after three days, I’m positive the ring leader is amongst this mess somewhere. Could you do me a favour chief and find the rabbit hole that greenhorn has hopped into?     

Sofia: don’t sweat it, she’s probably lost in this mess somewhere but since you’re so worried about her, I’ll go fish her out and don’t worry, I won’t mention our little chat to her, we don’t want her knowing you got a soft sweet side now do we?  

Jacquie: Chief! This ain’t what it looks like, I ain’t hiding, am just taking a break! This just happened to be a good spot away from everything!

Sofia: I never said you were hiding, mind if I park up next to you? I could use a break as well

Jacquie: Sure! Feel free, we all deserve a break! … Truth be told chief, I was hiding, I got scared, you see I’ve got a weird phobia of crowds in open spaces and the thought of being surrounded by that huge commotion back there, had me running in the opposite direction before I even realised. Wouldn’t blame you thought I’m blowing hot air but it’s true! 

Sofia: I don’t doubt you but I followed the chocolate stream back to its source and it lead me to here, to you.  Before I could open my mouth you were already throwing excuses at me plus you got chocolate at the nape of your neck and hair. Don’t take it too personally, I’m just doing my job but I am arresting you under the suspicion of being the cause of this chocolatey incident as well as being the ring leader and notorious pâtissière!

Jacquie: You almost got me there chief! That was one scary joke! There ain’t no chocolate on me, I’ve been nowhere near the stuff and that  brown stream couldn’t have lead you here because it leads to that big door off the corner of Betty’s, you know the one you visit all the…..

Sofia: Ain’t the quickest bunny in the box are yous? Doesn’t matter though congrats for figuring it out, you pieced a lot more than I thought you would but it ain’t gonna do you any good, it’s not like anyone would take the words of a rookie over that of the chief!

Ouran: That little smart mouthed puppy is the pâtissière? She caused all this? But why, it doesn’t make sense!

Sofia: It hasn’t been confirmed that she is that chocolate criminal but there is evidence that shows she was the cause of the incident the other day.  I know this a shock but you know to just push this out of your mind.  Until a new partner is selected for you, you’ll be on office work, I know this sounds cold but orders are orders and I think you need some time to cool off, you’ve danced to close to this case.

Ouran: It doesn’t make sense, Jacquie wouldn’t….. I mean sure! The kid was weird and sure! She had something she was hiding but not like this, I understand why I’m off this case but I’ve got to talk to her. I ain’t defending her, I mean she sawed at my wood, I couldn’t stand her but I got a feeling we are missing something, the pieces just don’t sit right, I’m sorry chief but I’ve got to go back to that place, maybe in the heat of it all we missed something’. Don’t try stop me! I’ve already made up my mind, fire me if you want, I’ve got to get hold of the whole truth!

Sofia: Search away my sweet little bunny but you won’t find anything, the cleaners have already been round and I made sure they swept every crack of that place. Even if by some fated luck you do find it behind the big door off the corner of Betty’s, you’re already too late: in less than three hours my beautiful hand crafted and nurtured chocolate bomb will go off, releasing an incredible chocolatey scent which will pollute the air and cause everything that breaths to want, No! crave the unforgettable pleasure that is chocolate! And there is no way you can stop it because only I know that the password needed to deactivate the launch sequence is “chocolate rain” and that the key pad on the front is a decoy, the real one is underneath it. But that doesn’t matter now because I, the infamous and unstoppable pâtissière is waiting for them all! Arms open and filled with edible delights and creations! Just a little longer and the whole world will be in demand for me!  No chocolate law can bind me when even the law makers themselves seek out my sugary treats! I really bring back the joys of Easter and we will once again celebrate like we did in the old years! Just a little more! Just a little more time! And I’ll be free, no more pretending and no more mindless little bunny boilers getting in my way! Muhahahaha!

Voice: There you have it! A future where the world is either too peaceful or so conflicted that it would set and enforce laws against the production and consumption of chocolate and ban holidays linked to it. Forcing the older generation who still remember the taste and have their fond memories of chocolate to rebel and wander around like criminals. Wouldn’t it be silly to think of it this as anything less than a childish dream or act? After all everything and anything is possible when it’s on a screen or in a dream. I leave it to you to decide.

Ouran: I overslept! I am gonna be late! Damn it!

Jacquie: Hmm, a last minute kind of guy, anyways! My name is Jacquie Marshall, I’m a final year college fashion student, I’ll be playing the part of your rookie partner in this Easter production, and I look forward to working with you.

Ouran: Hey! Yeah, so the name’s Ouran Grey and I’m at Uni, it’s a pleasure to be meet you. Have we met before or something? Because you remind me of the girl in my dreams.

Jacquie: No, I’m sure I would have remembered if I’d met a no good booty on the mind sweet air talker like you before.

Sofia: Oh look! You both made it! Great! Welcome, ready to get this show on the road?

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