Year 1 Katy Garnham Workshop- The Day You Said "I missed you"

The Day you Said “I missed you”

The words fell from your lips
like tears onto your shirt
I can’t remember who’s fell first
mine or yours
Both mingle
Absorbed
by the flannel
which remains
still stained
wash after wash
only we can see the marks.

The words fell
And I picked them up from
where I found them
kicked about on the floor
crying, screaming,
“I want some more!”
“Another shot!”
Tequila!
I picked them up
and begged you to take them back
because they were so heavy
and I am so weak
I just couldn’t hold them.

I found the words to return to you
both in conversation and in Becks
as well as Budd Lite, Carling,
Kingfisher and Jack Daniels
I found my voice by the time
Jim Bean showed up

My affection
My affirmation
My autonomy
After a long pause
while you looked on at me
“I missed you too”
we both knew
That I hadn’t gone anywhere
But hadn’t been present
Both been drunk
Both been out of it.

I grew so absent 
while present
that it warranted
an “I missed you”
in the middle of party
uttered sadly from the bottom of a glass
of whiskey and one too many beers.

Here come the tears
I guess mine fell first
Heart lurched
Head first
Haphazard
Stupid boy
with your “I missed you”
my heart, a child’s toy
Childs play
“Have another” you say
“I missed you too”
Knock back one more
You’re raw
“ I missed you”
quickly spit it out
party so loud we have to shout
“I missed you too”
Someone’s mixed vodka with iron brew
It’s gopping
Heart stopping
Drunk girl
going to hurl
stumbling through
Knocks drunk me into drunk you
holding each other
That’s where we discover
it’s “I missed you” from
One absent lover to another.