feel

Year 2 - Malachi Fernandez

Day after day I question its legitimacy. Joy, heartache, euphoria, melancholy… am I truly able to feel?

Attachments, intimacy and friendships. Are they genuine? Or do I form such relationships because society has taught me it’s necessary to do so in my lifetime. It sometimes seems like make-believe during late nights lost in the endless labyrinth of my subconscious. The search for an answer to my question is never-ending. Maybe I’m a soulless fraud that has deceived everyone I have ever claimed to love or care about. What if I’ve been lying to myself all my life just to feel normal, you almost fooled me.  There’s emptiness deep in my chest yearning to be filled. The torturous thoughts that keep my mind prisoner must end. I want to feel.